03-21-2014, 10:37 AM
(03-21-2014, 10:25 AM)jeremyyoung Wrote: After speed reading again...Not quite, I understand a bit better now your mentioning of men desiring and objectifying women, and male dominated society aka patriarchal society. I just feel like all of this goes in all directions and it could be focused a tad more on one of these. You know what I mean?
I think the best thing you did though was all of these ideas do connect well. and you transition effectively in each stanza when you mention for example, the line about how men give the worry of pain and child bearing while while getting more pleasure than a women, each of the ideas and the piece as a whole worked for me. and they transitioned well. I just think the ideas would be more effective as separate monologues by hera.