03-21-2014, 09:41 AM
The formatting distracted me from reading this a bit. I kind of catch a bit of philosophical "letting go" in here.. this piece feels abstract, which can be good in its own way. However I feel this is only a small start. I think you could develop it and turn it into something else, and if it was just a 4 line starting stanza it wouldn't be bad at all as an intro.