< hot summer >

[milo]

I think I saw this in a post of yours some where else,
but I wanted to tell you that I almost never use uppercase
(and almost no punctuation marks) in my poems as well.

yes I posted this when the disaster happened, in one of my other poetry forums (the one where you're only allowed to say nice things about other peoples stuff) people here seem really put off by the lack of capitals, oh well.

I don't want to distract from the discussion of the poem which is really what this thread should be about so if the discussion continues I will split it off to the discussion forum but, the reason people mention the capitals and punctuation isn't because they are bothered that you don't use them, (many writers here both use them or don't use them) but that you are omitting them without reason or good effect. punctuation and capitals are tools for writers and they should be either used or omitted with the intention of producing an effect. That is my opinion on the issue anyway and i have written using punctuation, non-standard punctuation, capitals and no capitals.

We now you return you to the discussion of the poem -

Not my favourite haiku. I didn't really get a sense of the image through the language. I felt the seasons ate up too much real estate in such a concise poem but that might just be me. Also, I would almost prefer it untitled than titled after the first line. I have seen the practice before, but frequently it is used where the other lines seen in light of the umbrella of a title gain additional meaning and I didn't get that here.