Come Leaves Burst v3

[71degrees]

Come Leaves Burst
Trait o'er sun breaks the dale.
Frost's house glows, cream egg
polished tooth, candle mass, whey

over trees. The stamen daisy
windows direct, connect, stripe
the barwaken sky dripping

rainbow strait watercolour
melting snow blue. Cold, rapt,
enwrapped cold, old night pulls

the Queen, who names the vale,
to heave all winter's rain,
hooked, eyed, crochet quavered

gown; frock coated vain veil
virgin rolling, rolling, retreating
up and aft, to the river.

Is the "Frost's" a nod to Robert Frost? Just curious….

Almost psalm like in its litany to nature: (e.g candle mass, colors akin to stained glass, frock). It's soothing but not preachy in all it subtleness. I am not familiar enough w/your stuff, but I think I would like to "hear" much of it, rather than read it. And I mean this in a nice way b/c we are here to read. I feel like you are leading me on a trip, ending with a new (virgin) destination I've never been and I don't mind going.

Words that bother me a bit but only b/c they seem out of place for their position in the poem: the double use of "cold" - vain (context here…just seems like an odd word - barwaken (only b/c you have it in an adjective position w/sky…and "dripping" to boot - retreating (only b/c of it use with river and to me one would never get there if one were retreating. These are just observations.

I felt calm after reading this. A good feeling.