What Of

[MadisonDiem]

On this rock hard earth in the hell of winter (cliche x2)
In this rice white scenery with a flourishing blizzard (rice white seems a bit obvious or boring.. 'flourishing' doesn't evoke the right tone, to me, for a winter scene)
In this light
In her sight (I like the repetition of these last three lines)

What of love when it harbors mistakes (Question marks might make this stronger)
What of this feeling when it defines ones fate (harbors mistakes, and defines ones fate are abstract, I don't know what you're talking about. be concrete.)
I know of love as I know of my past (same as above)
I know that with each moment another has passed (I like the obviousness here, it seems intentional and reads as an admission of ignorance. Maybe focus on that idea for this stanza?)
Perhaps if autumn had been longer these moments could have lasted (hmm. what are you saying? the season of dying leaves was the one that promoted love? unclear.)

What of love when life is short (this doesn't seem to relate to next lines)
What of a home if one locks the door (I like this image a lot! Gives me something to think about!)
I know of love just as I know of this house (again, this metaphor is neat)
I know each corridor better than I know my spouse (however, this line and the last contradict on another)
Perhaps this is why I find myself locked out (I like the last two lines better than "I know of love")

The way she loves actually fixes people (The word actually shows me that you're reaching as to how to describe whatever it is you're going for.. again, try clearer, stronger images)
With the way she loves one has no urge to speak of evil,
no patience to hear of evil,
no focus to see of evil (I almost like this concept.. except for the point of view. Bring it back to 'I' and it will be stronger)

The way I love actually frees people (eh. same as above with 'actually')
With the way I love one has no regrets to plead before death (Again, 'I' might help this.. try to reword for strength)
No needs, no wants
Satisfied, satiated, and certain
My love slowly but surely draws the curtain (This image interest me! Expand on it, maybe!
I give a standing ovation each time as my love fades behind enemy lines (#confused)

With applause still high I now wonder, (this clearly relates to the last line, but I'm still confused)
If I loved her and she loved me,
Why couldn't her love fix my love's fragility (try 'my fragility', perhaps? Again, question marks are soooo needed)
What of love if it couldn't spare her from a beautiful tragedy (I was waiting for the parallel of 'Why couldn't my love fix her love ___)

On this ice soaked pavement during the birth of spring (cliche)
In this biracial season where browns form greens (this is interesting, but I'm not sure it does the job)
In this night
At her site (You broke the repetition.. I'm conflicted. I think I like it.)
I revel in our love. (this is a weak ending... I wish I was clearer on what's going on here so I could understand why it's so important that you revel in the love)

You have a bit of a confusing storyline going on, especially with so many parallel descriptions and declarations going on here. Try to make your points more concrete. I really think using question marks and sticking with first person will help this significantly. I can't wait to see the next draft!