03-15-2014, 01:11 PM
Hi. Welcome. On my first two passes through this poem, one thought struck me first: Eliminate every unnecessary word in this poem. It would immediately be stronger. Seriously. Try it. I'm not kidding. Immediately better. You will surprise yourself. I was doing it as I was reading it. That's not what you want a reader to do, do your editing for you.
Otherwise, themes that I like, that I'm crazy about.
Thanks much for sharing.
NN
Otherwise, themes that I like, that I'm crazy about.
Thanks much for sharing.
NN
You can't hate me more than I hate myself. I win.
"When the spirit of justice eloped on the wings
Of a quivering vibrato's bittersweet sting."
"When the spirit of justice eloped on the wings
Of a quivering vibrato's bittersweet sting."