Twice a day

[ChristopherSea]

Good Morning AJ,

This sounds like a daily commute of female students lead by a teacher (from the class ratio reference) to the park, past a crew of construction workers on their route perhaps. There are some great lines and images herein. I am not certain of the hunter and hunted theme. Elements are clearly throughout the second half of the poem. I loved the tree claws (I have a similar reference in an Easter poem that I am composing). It could be a generalized fear for an innocent flock of young ladies. The reversal of hunter and hunted makes me feel like they are on a scavenger hunt or a nature collecting trip, but then realize that predators are about. The daily routine throws me a bit, unless it's a tour guides charge. It could be metaphor for walking livestock from barn to pasture daily too. Just wanted to share my experience with you. Thanks for the post and read AJ. I will be curious as to others reaction, as well as the author's reveal, should it come. Cheers/Chris

Hi Chris,
Thanks for your thoughts and comments. I think I might need to do some work on this as I have obviously not got my ideas clearly expressed.
I am thinking I need to include a rural or village image to take this out of the urban setting interpretation.
On looking through this through your eyes I can see where this could be a confused read. Also I changed the title after I had written this and did not edit again so that now I have some redundancies going on such as the twice a day / there and back again. I think I can use that space to better advantage. Close with the class ratio thoughts but again wrong setting. Originally I was thinking of not only the ratio of 10 plus one but also to give an age range indicator. In the UK we used to have an exam between primary and secondary school called the eleven plus... children were given a score that gained access into a (better) grammar school or sent them in the less esteemed comprehensive. It was quite divisive in that it used to divide communities, but perhaps this is has now moved out of common recollections and is too

Ah, an extended metaphor for that dreaded mastery exam. We have them here as well. Some entire school systems cheat on scores (especially inner-city ones), so as not to be characterized as inferior centers of learning or having a faculty that is lacking. In your poem then, the higher achievers are your predators and the underachievers are the prey. My read was off, not necessarily your writing. It is a cool poem.