First Remembrances - First Edit

[makeshift]

I remember them then, though dimly.
They walked in silence eating plums
not because they were in love,
but because they felt nothing. Not sure how I feel about the bluntness of this last line, it would be nice if the first image was expanded to show they felt nothing. The silent plum eating almost gets there I think.

Some days she would strip Interesting enjambment
off her stockings, hanging them like severed legs across the door frame; This is my favorite image in the poem, really nice
both of them knowing love was a dishonest word,
but wanting to be known.

In the mornings she drank coffee like water,
cleansing her throat with heat, This line was evocative, I could feel the heat of the coffee
vainly seeking in the empty cup
some small sip of truth. This stanza's ending is stronger then the first two stanza's endings imo; the story telling, or thematic information feels embedded within the imagery.

Shuffling back and forth across the threshold
I watched, transfixed by her steaming eyes. I like how this calls back to the coffee
I fed my plastic doll with tiny fingers, There is a bit of ambiguity here, not sure if its intentional. Who's fingers are tiny yours or the dolls? Both ways would make sense which makes me think maybe its intentional IDK it works I think
tenderly stroking her black, untidy hair.

My impression here is that the narrator is thinking back to their childhood, and that the "them" that she remembers are possibly her parents.
It may be worth considering getting rid of the first line, and having the whole poem in present tense, as if the memory is unfolding right there. The poem would still be evident as a memory given the title. IDk

Thnx for sharing