03-04-2014, 07:45 AM
Thank you for all the feed back, it is very much appreciated.
However, I do think I should explain the use of the word cunt. The main railway station in "far" Bombay (that's far as in far from where I had come from and far from where I am now. It is also a line in the song "Come Fly With Me") is a huge cavernous cathedral like building built in Victorian Gothic style. I liked the alliteration of cavernous cathedral and there is something quite phallic about a train entering a station. Therefore with that in mind and in order to keep the alliteration going there seemed, to me, to be only one possible choice of word. Especially as it is a favourite word of mine and something I like to slip in whenever I can (ohh err misses.) Although I must say I like the rectum of a rhino phrase, I must remember to use that one some time.
Other points, Billy, I completely agree with you about the last two lines. I wasn't at all happy with them myself, I struggled to come up with any other way to bring it to a close.
The rhythm was supposed to mimic the clickty-clack rhythm of the train. The last stanza I purposely changed the rhythm as I wanted it to come across as the train moving slowly as it approaches the station. You don't seem to get that clickty-clack noise when it is moving slowly. I also had the famous W.H. Auden poem "The Night Mail" in my head and tried to use a similar rhyme scheme.
Virgin Trains is a privatised British Train operator, I hate them with a passion (partly because Richard Banson's smug grin annoys me.) I also prefer older trains to the brand new hermetically sealed air conditioned types. So the use of Virgin trains was intended to have both meanings.
I think I covered everything there.
Matt.
However, I do think I should explain the use of the word cunt. The main railway station in "far" Bombay (that's far as in far from where I had come from and far from where I am now. It is also a line in the song "Come Fly With Me") is a huge cavernous cathedral like building built in Victorian Gothic style. I liked the alliteration of cavernous cathedral and there is something quite phallic about a train entering a station. Therefore with that in mind and in order to keep the alliteration going there seemed, to me, to be only one possible choice of word. Especially as it is a favourite word of mine and something I like to slip in whenever I can (ohh err misses.) Although I must say I like the rectum of a rhino phrase, I must remember to use that one some time.
Other points, Billy, I completely agree with you about the last two lines. I wasn't at all happy with them myself, I struggled to come up with any other way to bring it to a close.
The rhythm was supposed to mimic the clickty-clack rhythm of the train. The last stanza I purposely changed the rhythm as I wanted it to come across as the train moving slowly as it approaches the station. You don't seem to get that clickty-clack noise when it is moving slowly. I also had the famous W.H. Auden poem "The Night Mail" in my head and tried to use a similar rhyme scheme.
Virgin Trains is a privatised British Train operator, I hate them with a passion (partly because Richard Banson's smug grin annoys me.) I also prefer older trains to the brand new hermetically sealed air conditioned types. So the use of Virgin trains was intended to have both meanings.
I think I covered everything there.
Matt.