02-27-2014, 09:39 AM
I really like the first stanza of your poem, the idea of 20 minutes being torturous is powerful and relatable, definitely speaks to the reader.
As I go on, however, I become a little bit more confused. Maybe it's the rhyme in the first line of the second stanza, or maybe it's my curiosity as to the relationship between the hunger of your pockets and your stomach. What makes your pockets so hungry, what do they need?
Some very interesting themes here that I want to be expanded. Just food for thought
As I go on, however, I become a little bit more confused. Maybe it's the rhyme in the first line of the second stanza, or maybe it's my curiosity as to the relationship between the hunger of your pockets and your stomach. What makes your pockets so hungry, what do they need?
Some very interesting themes here that I want to be expanded. Just food for thought