02-23-2014, 09:15 AM
Oh yes, I like this one 
It's very unlike the way I would format a poem, and I enjoy difference, especially because the form marries so well with the content. It does, however, make it a little more difficult for me to critique.
"because" works brilliantly -- it's not just the catchcry of the pessimist, but also of the procrastinator. Let us put the whole world as our obstacle -- that way, we will never be blamed for failure. It was just too big to overcome.
I am not entirely sold on "half-assed" as it seems out of place with the rest of the language, but that may just be a cultural difference.
And of course, the title is beautifully ironic. Thanks, I really enjoyed this.
It's very unlike the way I would format a poem, and I enjoy difference, especially because the form marries so well with the content. It does, however, make it a little more difficult for me to critique.
"because" works brilliantly -- it's not just the catchcry of the pessimist, but also of the procrastinator. Let us put the whole world as our obstacle -- that way, we will never be blamed for failure. It was just too big to overcome.
I am not entirely sold on "half-assed" as it seems out of place with the rest of the language, but that may just be a cultural difference.
And of course, the title is beautifully ironic. Thanks, I really enjoyed this.
It could be worse