On Break

[MadisonDiem]

It's been a mere twenty minutes on this slow and painful day,
While the clock undwinds torture, and fails to fade away. undwinds -> unwinds

Surrounded by food, but not in the mood--
My pocket's starving too, you see I like the idea you have here, I think this would be a good one to expand on. Especially the tension between hunger for food/hunger for money, or wanting to eat but also needing to save?

Until I learn a skilled trade
Exchanging blood for gasoline I'm also fond of these lines; the thought is interesting to consider, but it's rather open to interpretation...

There is inconsistency in your punctuation here. You started out by using some, then less, then none. The dashes in the second stanza don't give the reader a clear idea of what you mean. I would exchange it for a semicolon, or just leave it out.

You have a few interesting ideas/themes here that could be developed more, but they don't really seem to have a cohesive point running through the whole poem. While it all has to do with being at work, I don't really get left with an impression of what you're trying to say with the poem as a whole.