Pieces of you
#6
(02-06-2014, 10:27 PM)nhanna1223 Wrote:  While stealing glimpses of you,
I realized that the pieces of me, are the pieces of you. This set the tone for the poem nicely.

Same face, eyes, ears and nose.
Slender body and little toes. This seemed humorous. I'm not sure if its in the way you intend. Not sure if I like it.
Our sense of humor seems to match.
The way we walk, the way we laugh. This was the best pair in the poem for me.

Still trying to put this puzzle together,
So ours hearts can mend and we can grow closer.
We've been torn from seam to seam,
the puzzle pieces fell somewhere in between. The cadence seems to fall apart here. I don't know if that's intentional or not.

Holes were formed inside our souls,
building walls with sticks and stones.
Who knows, where these pieces could possibly be.
To fill the voids, and set us free. What is this line supposed to convey?

The pieces of you are the pieces of me,
so lets break down these walls,
make this puzzle complete.
So my big question is the difference between the first half and the second. In the first half the two of you are jiving and everything is dandy. Then all of a sudden there's a puzzle which is incomplete and seems to be broken for some reason. It just caught me off guard.
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Messages In This Thread
Pieces of you - by nhanna1223 - 02-06-2014, 10:27 PM
RE: Pieces of you - by ralex003 - 02-07-2014, 11:46 AM
RE: Pieces of you - by gpiper - 02-10-2014, 02:53 PM
RE: Pieces of you - by alatos - 02-11-2014, 12:17 AM
RE: Pieces of you - by Erthona - 02-11-2014, 04:03 AM
RE: Pieces of you - by screenmutt - 02-18-2014, 09:57 PM
RE: Pieces of you - by Daacobra - 03-17-2014, 07:19 PM
RE: Pieces of you - by chrisgas - 03-20-2014, 07:58 AM



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