02-15-2014, 11:43 AM
OK, I see. You are doing what most of us do starting out, which is to assume what you know, we know...but we don't. I understand a little more now about what you are trying to do (although I am dubious about your premiss), but I don't think there is any way a person will get what you intended from what you have written, there is just simply not enough information to be able to infer even a little of this. You are right, if you have to follow poem by a paragraph of explanation it is not a good sign. The positive part is that you can recognize that and fix it. Failure in poetry is not bad either. If you are not failing you have either been writing longer than me, because I still fail, catastrophically even, or you are not attempting anything difficult enough to fail.
So put this aside for several months and do something else (poetry wise I mean), and then look at it again. Then send me a message about what you find.
dale
So put this aside for several months and do something else (poetry wise I mean), and then look at it again. Then send me a message about what you find.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.