Driving Back to the Apartment (passanger seat)

[PoetryAndPhysics]

Hello makeshift. I do think you get through the loneliness of such a drive, and describe well those awkward conversations people have where they talk about everything except the thing they know they should be talking about (which also happens to be the hardest thing to talk about). If anything, the last two lines could be even more revelatory and dramatic. Anyway, some more comments (and I agree with nixing “warm”, and with what's been said on the enjambment):

We take turns
splitting the distance
between us with words
like children shattering
a frozen creek. I actually read “shattering a frozen creek” as something that would bring people together (as it sounds fun).

The world recedes
in the rear view mirror.
A warm syllable dangles
in delicate balance
on the edge of my lip.

In time it burns
and chars my mouth.
I let it slip
into my stomach
acid and smolder. I like the “delicate” imagery of these two stanzas. Perhaps make “acid” end the line above.

Highway hum fills the holes
left by non-conversations. Like these two lines.
I look towards you —
your sinking
sun drives the sky below, I like that it's “your” sinking sun that is driven down (like the driver posseses the sun). I think that re-wording these lines can make this image stand out even more (I didn't get it at all on the first few readings, because of the line breaks).

us. I stare at what remains
of a horizon and speak —
black orifice, smoke drip.
You stare.