02-14-2014, 12:30 PM
I'm afraid this reads as just another adolescent's ennui in their first blush of gainful employment. It is the old "cog-in-the-wheel-we-are
ground-down by the machine
of meaninglessness" dystopia with a farm instead of a machine. Orwell did it better without all of the alliterative nonsense. There is not much here that I find interesting. You would do better to lose the nonsense, and just write of the farm, the metaphor by itself, leaving the office to the reader—and out of the poem.
[/quote]
Noted and appreciated. It's the office I'm after though so I'll go the opposite direction I think.
thanks
ground-down by the machine
of meaninglessness" dystopia with a farm instead of a machine. Orwell did it better without all of the alliterative nonsense. There is not much here that I find interesting. You would do better to lose the nonsense, and just write of the farm, the metaphor by itself, leaving the office to the reader—and out of the poem.
[/quote]
Noted and appreciated. It's the office I'm after though so I'll go the opposite direction I think.
thanks