One Theory about Alzheimer's

[billy]

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No insult taken whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I'm beginning to like this place (with small baby steps), but folks here tend to "read" poems how they want them, or worse, how they think they should be written, rather than trying to understand the subject from the writer's POV. No one knows for sure how a particular subject should be written except the writer. Criticism is always welcome about the particulars of a poem (an image, the tense, hell, even the dreaded lack of punctuation), but once in a while whole poems are rewritten here and I just can't figure out why?

Again, no insult taken about your Alzheimer's observations. My approach is always that art is "open" to interpretation. Always.

i see this as the reason for feedback, we take from it what will. often it's hard to see a poem from the poets POV. often the reader gets the wrong take on a poem as you say. sometimes whole poems are re written because the poet isn't sure or doesn't know how to take feedback...i've been guilty of that myself, often changing everything in the poem till it's a different animal. i do think the poets here reach a stage where they know what they want and know how to utilise the feedback given. like everything else knowing how to use feedback is as important as giving feedback or writing poetry, all slices of the same cake. you're capable of saying no this is right for me, many are not. you are capable of writing a decent poem, many are not. if you look at the decent poets on the site they all have one thing in common, then know when to refuse certain feedback and not use it. sometimes a poem really does need a rewrite. lets also remember that this is a workshop where sometimes the process of workshopping is more important than the poem,
arthur ashe as well as many other have said.

Success is a journey, not a destination.
The doing is often more important than the outcome. sorry about the discourse, back on topic;

Your poem

the last two stanza worked really well for me though pleas threw me a little. i think you capture some small aspect of the disease though the 1st stanza feels a bit wordy.

thanks for the read.

One Theory about Alzheimer's

There are certain moments
everyone comes to rely on;
those thoughts that come to us is those needed?
when we have uprooted roots
and our minds have moved
elsewhere while this stanza sets the poem up it does feel a little weak, that said i do like the last two lines and the subtle way a wandering mind is introduced.

                                at times,
despite stillness, old needs stir
and the wish to grip the present
recedes to claim half-buried bones; i like this line because it makes the reader think about what recede means for me it's getting lost (in the context of the poem) like tootles loosing his marbles, knowing he's lost them but not where.
hands try to grasp shards of light, for me shards of light doesn't quite work as well as it should. i understand the light is a memory but i think a better word choice is needed.
our old toys, an empty street,
a narrow room

an open window, fresh baked bread,
sneakers, a porcelain duck, certain
Novembers, a backyard swing set

                        permanence
is left to the foolish, our present,
left, now our past, dry-mouthed, there feels to be a conflict with the two lefts. a suggestion would be [for the foolish, our present, ]
sun-stroked; we want to hold onto
anything that pleas i keep wanting to read this last word as pleads.