triolet

[Arachnid_Poet]

"I met the reason of my heart"

I met the reason of my heart.
His lips alone undressed my soul.
We crawl through hands and so it starts,
I met the reason of my heart.
Complacence drinks our sacred art
as two make one and now we're whole.
I met the reason of my heart.
His lips alone undressed my soul.

"I met the reason of my heart"

I met the reason of my heart. (-)
His lips alone undressed my soul. (-)
We crawl through hands and so it starts,(see my comment)
I met the reason of my heart. (good refrain)
Complacence drinks our sacred art (—) (em-dash here)
as two make one and now we're whole. (,)
I met the reason of my heart. (,)
His lips alone undressed my soul.

Hey there,

Great rhythm throughout the poem— the style is very reminiscent of
Frost combined with a strong sense of lyric. I appreciate the controlled yet revealing
nature of the speaker; the narration from the speaker appears somewhat reflective, creating a tone that is both giddy and quite serious. The speaker makes an announcement
in such a small bottle if you will, and I think it suits the content well. I added some grammatical changes in your poem for flow and continuation. The punctuation you have here could work as well, but I think commas and dashes would give it some flavor.

Thank you for posting
VisualCondyle (Tara)

thanks for the suggestions! I'm actually going to rewrite some of the lines due to grammatical errors. I put it down on paper first, then I put it on here
How are you today?