02-11-2014, 10:25 AM
I must agree this appears to lack inspiration, and seems more a philosophical musing, and as has been pointed out, a not very original one. Although lined out like a poem, it seems to lack any kind of rhythm or cadence, and moves rather stiffly.
Instead of "unlike Hollywood", I think this would come off better if you said "unlike in the movies".
The primary problem I have is that without the title, this just becomes a description of war, not a metaphor for something, and that something I have no real clue about.
"In this decision making hell" What decision making hell are you talking about???
Dale
Instead of "unlike Hollywood", I think this would come off better if you said "unlike in the movies".
The primary problem I have is that without the title, this just becomes a description of war, not a metaphor for something, and that something I have no real clue about.
"In this decision making hell" What decision making hell are you talking about???
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.