02-11-2014, 04:09 AM
Sometimes even though it is repressed
The inner Ninja escapes
I try not to let it out
But it is a ninja who can stop it
Last time it came out was listening to hip hop
The lines about grabbing the Clack-Clack
Throwing up gang signs the inner ninja activates
But most the time no one notices that is what ninjas do
The last lines of those first two parts, are you using ninja in a different way? "A ninja who can stop it", "no one notices that is what ninjas do", like saying you can still like the music and feel anger yet not go out and get violent? Calling yourself a ninja, but using the word in a positive way? Or are you meaning ninja differently in those two lines, like a literal ninja as opposed to a negative stereotype like the other word you're thinking of?
Sometimes he takes control completely
He uses me as his host feeding on anger
He waits till the blood is really boiling
And then he takes over and we have a ninja moment
I am a ninja I can't help it
My mom was a ninja and my dad was a ninja
When we ninjas are together you know we are ninjas
But I am not your average ninja I have mastered the art of disguise
The rest of the poem is clear, knowing what ninja means. Other than the ninja metaphor, there isn't much else here when it comes to poetry. I think you could add something to take it further.
The inner Ninja escapes
I try not to let it out
But it is a ninja who can stop it
Last time it came out was listening to hip hop
The lines about grabbing the Clack-Clack
Throwing up gang signs the inner ninja activates
But most the time no one notices that is what ninjas do
The last lines of those first two parts, are you using ninja in a different way? "A ninja who can stop it", "no one notices that is what ninjas do", like saying you can still like the music and feel anger yet not go out and get violent? Calling yourself a ninja, but using the word in a positive way? Or are you meaning ninja differently in those two lines, like a literal ninja as opposed to a negative stereotype like the other word you're thinking of?
Sometimes he takes control completely
He uses me as his host feeding on anger
He waits till the blood is really boiling
And then he takes over and we have a ninja moment
I am a ninja I can't help it
My mom was a ninja and my dad was a ninja
When we ninjas are together you know we are ninjas
But I am not your average ninja I have mastered the art of disguise
The rest of the poem is clear, knowing what ninja means. Other than the ninja metaphor, there isn't much else here when it comes to poetry. I think you could add something to take it further.