02-09-2014, 09:05 AM
AJ thank you for a very thoughtful crit, you hit on some great points and I absolutely love what you did with the first stanza. That was the effect I was going for but was struggling with it, so thanks for the suggestion! Your "once" idea is gold also. Really appreciate it and everything else. Your comments will definitely influence my edit!
Since you and tectak both mentioned it (tec in the previous thread), I didn't presume to think that "heart still unattacked" was my own invention, but I'm glad you think it works here because I do too.
71 thanks for the encouragement! This one was kicking my ass before so I needed so slap it into shape a bit. ;p
-justcloudy
Since you and tectak both mentioned it (tec in the previous thread), I didn't presume to think that "heart still unattacked" was my own invention, but I'm glad you think it works here because I do too.
71 thanks for the encouragement! This one was kicking my ass before so I needed so slap it into shape a bit. ;p
-justcloudy
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.