02-08-2014, 07:08 AM
thanks JM
(02-07-2014, 06:53 PM)billy Wrote: We cannot earn the luck, or curse of birth
these designations; labels placed on us
will not control our stride across this earth.
We'll pave the path we walk with work, and cuss;
a shower of expletives, or a finger
raised to show that we don't give a fuck.
When pandjandrums pull us through the wringer.
When obligations ride within our truck.
At times the fear of facing life with verve
can split the very fibre of a fart.
It's then we have to break the painful nerve
and share the shit that's ripping us apart.
Though we owe nought, and from us nought is sought.
The one that freely gives is seldom bought.
i tried a few things with the meter and hope it's still seen as iambic pent.
i wasn't sure with if panjandrum has a plurali did change [to] i the penultimate line to [from]
The next sonnet opens with this line:
the one that freely gives is seldom bought.

i did change [to] i the penultimate line to [from]