Lying in my room

[billy]

Hi Humbert.

feedback isn't written in stone, it's the reader's POV for you to use or discard in part or whole as you see fit :J:

i do know from my own writing that sometimes what i see as the most important part of a poem is sometimes the least relevant, that what i see as the writer isn't always what the reader sees. not saying you're wrong, i'm saying that i have been wrong with my own stuff over similar feelings.

if it works for you leave it in

As for the last line, I personally found it the most important line, and it was even the first line I actually wrote I'm not sure that without it the poem would get the message across that the line delivers.

Thanks a lot for the feedback