02-07-2014, 03:20 PM
Thanks for the feedback guys. I'm having a hard time with the edits on this poem for some reason. I am starting to warm up to the idea of consistent prepositions in L2; thanks for the suggestion 
Indeed, the poem's first line creating a "jarring effect" is part of the theme. As for "tick," I really meant more to describe a check mark, the way the silhouette of a bird looks in a sky, how a child might attempt to draw a bird. I'll try to make that more clear.
As for the sets of questions shemthepenman, they are related in that "to move on" implies progress, and the seagull is not moving as it soars against opposing winds, making it still. The last line of the poem is intended to answer these questions, though you found a seagull's reveling to be questionable. Thanks a lot for the feedback! I have some things to mull over
Indeed, the poem's first line creating a "jarring effect" is part of the theme. As for "tick," I really meant more to describe a check mark, the way the silhouette of a bird looks in a sky, how a child might attempt to draw a bird. I'll try to make that more clear.
As for the sets of questions shemthepenman, they are related in that "to move on" implies progress, and the seagull is not moving as it soars against opposing winds, making it still. The last line of the poem is intended to answer these questions, though you found a seagull's reveling to be questionable. Thanks a lot for the feedback! I have some things to mull over