Cycle

[justcloudy]

Knowing that it's supposed to be a sunrise definitely helped me understand it more, but it's still very unclear. Basically it's much too vague. Your readers still want to get something out of your poem, and if they have no idea what you're talking about any fancy or clever descriptions you write will be for naught. For example the shadows line is clever, but makes no sense out of context.

Try to break this down and figure out how you want to point your readers in the right direction.

Also, I don't think it's technically possible to "canter slowly".

-justcloudy