hi nhanna, why did you have a hard time reading it?
try and give reasons as to how or/and why the poem affects you. what you like and why or what you don't like and why. we're fine is a person isn't technical or even correct in their feedback all we want is for fellow poets to try and give a fuller critique. /mod
at the best it's not what most would call a good poem, but that's why we're all here isn't it...too improve.
first suggestion is to present the poem in a way the reader can make some sense of it.
just tell as you would in everyday speech patterns and break it down into shorter lines (just a suggestion)
at that point it will probably be prose. then you add poetic devices, things that take from being prose to be poetry.
if you aren't sure, do the first part and ask for help with the poetic devices.
try and give reasons as to how or/and why the poem affects you. what you like and why or what you don't like and why. we're fine is a person isn't technical or even correct in their feedback all we want is for fellow poets to try and give a fuller critique. /mod
at the best it's not what most would call a good poem, but that's why we're all here isn't it...too improve.
first suggestion is to present the poem in a way the reader can make some sense of it.
just tell as you would in everyday speech patterns and break it down into shorter lines (just a suggestion)
at that point it will probably be prose. then you add poetic devices, things that take from being prose to be poetry.
if you aren't sure, do the first part and ask for help with the poetic devices.
(09-03-2013, 04:11 AM)Poetborn Wrote: Insanity now- a -days have become 1 with humanity
,and our friend morals well he has lost his very gravity
But Insanity is steadily grabbing we
, but we still nourish the deep pains
Often thinking we have ………. Well that we have gained our true friend sanity,but in fact its more delusions never sanity
,from our very own friend insanity