02-03-2014, 04:52 AM
This is a nice image, however, I think you could do without the last three lines, I don't think it needs that explanation. Up to this point you have been describing what can be seen, I see no reason why you need to start philosophizing at this point. To me it only weakens the poem.
Dale
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.