02-01-2014, 08:06 AM
(02-01-2014, 04:56 AM)Swoonjet Wrote: The imagery is really rich and saturated. I find it interesting how the other critiques are trying to fix the tense problem, however, I'm inclined to suggest you not use the idea of thinking about these things. They are already being expressed through verse. The character is already there in their mind. If the idea is more about this memory, then that's another thing.
Really like the rhythm of this work. I think it initiated some auditory hallucinations.
Good stuff. Keep it coming.
Appreciate the support here, Swoonjet. Haven't had any auditory hallucinations since the late 70's. Rather miss them. Am warming to this site and all it has to offer. Thanks.