01-31-2014, 09:53 AM
the black sash is the band that goes round a sailors hat and bears the name of the ship. in this case hms glory; kieth can correct me if i'm wrong. the glory was a pretty famous british aircraft carrier that ended up being obsolete, it played a role in the surrender of the Japanese
to the poem;
what isn't to like. frank's shell shock would probably be called post distress order or something like in our times.
i think you captured a crusty old sea salt who really couldn't give the sea no matter how he tried. and that the navy was more the man's life than his demise. it something i will read again and would do were it a published poem. this is one of the best poems on the site and something up and coming poets should strive to emulate (the quality)
can fault be found with it..of course mine is
and a HMS hat with a black sash,
could have been better worded
and a black-sashed HMS hat
to make it seen the the sash is part of the hat
but that's nothing in the scheme of things and the poem stands good as is.
if you do edit don't over do it less a really good poem is ruined.
thanks for the read. (can't believe you wrote this, it's amazing how well you've matured as the poet) :J:
to the poem;
what isn't to like. frank's shell shock would probably be called post distress order or something like in our times.
i think you captured a crusty old sea salt who really couldn't give the sea no matter how he tried. and that the navy was more the man's life than his demise. it something i will read again and would do were it a published poem. this is one of the best poems on the site and something up and coming poets should strive to emulate (the quality)
can fault be found with it..of course mine is
and a HMS hat with a black sash,
could have been better worded
and a black-sashed HMS hat
to make it seen the the sash is part of the hat
but that's nothing in the scheme of things and the poem stands good as is.
if you do edit don't over do it less a really good poem is ruined.
thanks for the read. (can't believe you wrote this, it's amazing how well you've matured as the poet) :J: