01-29-2014, 02:36 PM
I like the ideas in this poem.
EDIT!:
I like the idea of an observer garnering some self-worth ("I used to watch him every day") using non-implicit disdain by describing the scene (alone, devouring, drip, drop, dirt, entire, trough, jiggle)
and I like how this slowly filters out with the introduction of a partner with the gradual use of intimacy in the language and occasional positive quality
and and I like the inflection point in the last line where the narrator stops watching as if no longer satisfied. (Fat crush fail! or [how I read it] watching belittled others transcend the narrators own loneliness)
I avoid being specific because I don't want to look st00piiid. D: But Billy is right, I should post something possibly useful instead of a fairly shallow looking reply. D:
EDIT2: Quick edit! The thing I liked most about this poem was how the narrator remains static whilst everything else evolves around them.
EDIT!:
I like the idea of an observer garnering some self-worth ("I used to watch him every day") using non-implicit disdain by describing the scene (alone, devouring, drip, drop, dirt, entire, trough, jiggle)
and I like how this slowly filters out with the introduction of a partner with the gradual use of intimacy in the language and occasional positive quality
and and I like the inflection point in the last line where the narrator stops watching as if no longer satisfied. (Fat crush fail! or [how I read it] watching belittled others transcend the narrators own loneliness)
I avoid being specific because I don't want to look st00piiid. D: But Billy is right, I should post something possibly useful instead of a fairly shallow looking reply. D:
EDIT2: Quick edit! The thing I liked most about this poem was how the narrator remains static whilst everything else evolves around them.