01-29-2014, 01:52 PM
It's Jazz man, Bossa Nova. "Vibratory verve " reeds in a wind instrument "vibrate", Verrve refers to Verve records a label associated with Bossa Nova, and Stan Getz, one of the Sax greats of the period."The Girl from Ipanema" ring a bell. "expelled coercively from asthmatic lungs" just a way I have of describing how Getz sounded when he played. He had such great breath control at times it was so soft it seemed like a wheeze.
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"buoyed on the singing
of las lenguas de chicas bonitas, Is this a song title? If so, should it be capitalised?"
"las lenguas de chicas bonitas" a way to say the singing of pretty girls, who in this case are part of the music group. As the girls are down front of the riser and the sax is up and behind, it's sound carries over the singing like a counterpoint.
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"bounding off garden walls as ivies climb," this is just the beginning of the description of the location. It is interwoven with the description the sound of the music, and this is more fully described as we move to the people listening to the music.
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You can't just take one line of a phrase and critique, the phrase reads:
"humping that Brazilian Basso Nova bass line,
bounding off garden walls as ivies climb,
up the pulsing beat to the stars,
It means using the pulse of bass line like stairs to the stars. Haven't you ever listened to music outside as it just seems to fade away instead of echoing back to you the way it does in an enclosed building?
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TexMex is in Texas. This is a scene from Austin Texas, you would hardly have streets called Mary and Congress in Mexico.
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"Is this dialogue? If so, who's saying it, why, and to whom?" Itt is the narrator as it has been throughout, making an observation.
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"These notice nectar sucking nymphs are actors at play" These are girls who want people to notice them, that is why they are there, to be the center of attention. To play at being stars (debutants).
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within the earths "earth's", as it's a possessive. womb, Very good image, though I struggle to connect it to any previously established context.
coming to the surface in these
testostroneladden"laden" (I assume)youngmen,
Good catch thanks
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"This many capitalised adjectives in a row just makes my eyes glaze over, sorry. It doesn't mean anything to me because it carries no images, isn't really descriptive in any comprehendible way, and feels like hip-talk without the talk."
It is describing the upscale university:
Basically imputing both what the outsiders say about the university and how the insiders describe it.
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"Putting a dash between "do" and "no" makes me read those words fast, as one word, almost, which feels contrary to the effect you're going for."
Yeah it was meant to slow it down.maybe just use three dots again.
Thanks for all your comments. I will think them over, obviously the poem did not convey to you what I wanted it to.
Dale
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Thanks for giving it a read Billy
Dale
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"buoyed on the singing
of las lenguas de chicas bonitas, Is this a song title? If so, should it be capitalised?"
"las lenguas de chicas bonitas" a way to say the singing of pretty girls, who in this case are part of the music group. As the girls are down front of the riser and the sax is up and behind, it's sound carries over the singing like a counterpoint.
--------------------------------------------------
"bounding off garden walls as ivies climb," this is just the beginning of the description of the location. It is interwoven with the description the sound of the music, and this is more fully described as we move to the people listening to the music.
---------------------------------------------------
You can't just take one line of a phrase and critique, the phrase reads:
"humping that Brazilian Basso Nova bass line,
bounding off garden walls as ivies climb,
up the pulsing beat to the stars,
It means using the pulse of bass line like stairs to the stars. Haven't you ever listened to music outside as it just seems to fade away instead of echoing back to you the way it does in an enclosed building?
------------------------------------------------------------
TexMex is in Texas. This is a scene from Austin Texas, you would hardly have streets called Mary and Congress in Mexico.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Is this dialogue? If so, who's saying it, why, and to whom?" Itt is the narrator as it has been throughout, making an observation.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"These notice nectar sucking nymphs are actors at play" These are girls who want people to notice them, that is why they are there, to be the center of attention. To play at being stars (debutants).
-----------------------------------------------------------------
within the earths "earth's", as it's a possessive. womb, Very good image, though I struggle to connect it to any previously established context.
coming to the surface in these
testostroneladden"laden" (I assume)youngmen,
Good catch thanks
----------------------------------------------------------------
"This many capitalised adjectives in a row just makes my eyes glaze over, sorry. It doesn't mean anything to me because it carries no images, isn't really descriptive in any comprehendible way, and feels like hip-talk without the talk."
It is describing the upscale university:
Basically imputing both what the outsiders say about the university and how the insiders describe it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Putting a dash between "do" and "no" makes me read those words fast, as one word, almost, which feels contrary to the effect you're going for."
Yeah it was meant to slow it down.maybe just use three dots again.
Thanks for all your comments. I will think them over, obviously the poem did not convey to you what I wanted it to.
Dale
____________________________________________________________
Thanks for giving it a read Billy
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.