My Hand Knows the Way to the Blade

[newsclippings]

An ice-floe to my lava,
you froze fire at its source,
crushed an upright spirit,
defiled my dreams, and worse.

Clumsily I ricocheted
from pillory to post,
accused of things I hadn’t done,
and oh, that hurt the most.

But in that muddled mayhem,
I resolved to find an Amen,
a 'so be it' for my ragged, jagged plan.

Now a word to the wise,
and damn your eyes,
you'll wish I hadn’t stayed;
for the knife is restless
in the drawer, and my hand
knows the way to the blade.

© Donna Devine

While I like your use of concentrated alliterations, I think it's best you don't use tired phrases like freezing fire and someone shitting in/on/around? your dreams.

Your best three lines might be your last three lines. And I do like the "pillory to post" bit as well. But perhaps it would be best to trim the excess and start over with some of these lines/stanzas, particularly the first and fourth.

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Crushed my spirit
Defiled my dreams
Word to the wise
Muddled mayhem

Ugh.

Now now milo, that's no way to critique a poem.

I feel it is sufficient. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve? (My critique, of course)

You need to expand on your thought process and maybe give insight as to why these particular phrases make you say "ugh."

The author put it in serious critique, but I think they would best benefit with mild for this one.

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/sandra