01-25-2014, 01:17 AM
Ha, Sandra, maybe I'll replace some of the bum lines with something more for you. Of course, we'd have to bring in the current guy for that. 
Thanks so much for reading and for your comments.
For Sandra:
He whispered as he dipped his dong,
my poor brain puddled in a pool,
"Babe, gray is fine, just keep it long."
Well, I'll be damned, another rule!
and I could retitle it Bond/Age.
It will change, thanks.
Thanks so much for reading and for your comments.
For Sandra:
He whispered as he dipped his dong,
my poor brain puddled in a pool,
"Babe, gray is fine, just keep it long."
Well, I'll be damned, another rule!
and I could retitle it Bond/Age.
Quote:she'd seen herself as she should be. this line seems a little beneath the content of all the others. While I like where this poem is taking me, this line sticks out like a hatchet wound because it's not as good as the others.For me the thought in this line is pivotal, so I appreciate you letting me know it sucks, and in such a forceful and memorable way.
It will change, thanks.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips