01-23-2014, 01:49 AM
(01-23-2014, 01:20 AM)ThePinsir Wrote: I love reading sonnets here!Ha, that's what I had but changed it.
The meter is tetrameter. Needs to be pentameter.
Besides that, I think that in the Shakespearean sonnets, the final couplet needs to be its own sentence or sentences. I think yours did a good job of concluding the poem, but try putting a period at the end of line 12 and try something like
"So now with grace old age bequeaths"
so the couplet has its own complete sentence.
Think I'll clean this up, change title to "song" and start a pentameter. Thanks for reading and the good advice.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

