01-23-2014, 01:20 AM
I love reading sonnets here!
The meter is tetrameter. Needs to be pentameter.
Besides that, I think that in the Shakespearean sonnets, the final couplet needs to be its own sentence or sentences. I think yours did a good job of concluding the poem, but try putting a period at the end of line 12 and try something like
"So now with grace old age bequeaths"
so the couplet has its own complete sentence.
The meter is tetrameter. Needs to be pentameter.
Besides that, I think that in the Shakespearean sonnets, the final couplet needs to be its own sentence or sentences. I think yours did a good job of concluding the poem, but try putting a period at the end of line 12 and try something like
"So now with grace old age bequeaths"
so the couplet has its own complete sentence.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!