Fatherhood (Edit 3)
#7
Hi, Blake, thanks for the read.

I've had an issue with L8 in all 3 versions, and its getting worse. You seem to be saying that most people would not understand that a change from gaming and loud music to spending time raising a child is an improvement in your narrator's quality of life. I can't even get on board with most people thinking it's less cool. I think the rest of the poem is about the narrator's point of view, and this line is jarring for me.
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Messages In This Thread
Fatherhood (Edit 3) - by Blake - 01-21-2014, 07:50 AM
RE: Fatherhood - by Blake - 01-21-2014, 08:16 AM
RE: Fatherhood - by kingmicahde - 01-21-2014, 08:48 AM
RE: Fatherhood - by Blake - 01-21-2014, 09:11 AM
RE: Fatherhood (Edit 1) - by kingmicahde - 01-21-2014, 09:28 AM
RE: Fatherhood (Edit 2) - by Blake - 01-22-2014, 12:59 AM
RE: Fatherhood (Edit 2) - by ellajam - 01-22-2014, 02:40 AM
RE: Fatherhood (Edit 3) - by Blake - 01-22-2014, 04:21 AM
RE: Fatherhood (Edit 3) - by clemonz - 01-22-2014, 04:48 AM



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