01-21-2014, 04:39 AM
Quote:You need not ponder changes wrought by age,"truth / of you", i thought was a nice line break.
my vain and venal baron, for the truth
of you
more generally, the poem didn't massively appeal to me emotionally, but you made the form seem natural and easy [i maybe can't say why], so perhaps that's just my preference for styles of speech that are more direct than terms like
Quote:venal baron.. ungreying page... dwell eternally [in youth]... deep depravity
obviously i'm pretty new, so thanks for the opportunity to learn from you
