01-20-2014, 09:52 AM
Ah you mean overturned as in drying next to the sink? Yea that's really not clear. But then again, if you and I see different things as we read it, is that really such a problem? Dunno.
From your explanation the original tells the story much better, and the questions are real one coming from the speaker, not hypothetical. I think you could make them work, you might just have to expand slightly to set the scene better.
Just thoughts.
Maybe make the title do more work for you? Something to the effect of "friendly neighborhood"? (That is not a legitimate suggestion.)
From your explanation the original tells the story much better, and the questions are real one coming from the speaker, not hypothetical. I think you could make them work, you might just have to expand slightly to set the scene better.
Just thoughts.
Maybe make the title do more work for you? Something to the effect of "friendly neighborhood"? (That is not a legitimate suggestion.)
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.