The Point Man

[addy]

First of all, thank you for that poem. You might not consider yourself a poet, but I do feel that you've written down something personal here, and I really appreciated it.

I spotted a few minor errors in spelling/grammar, like in verse 5 line 5

When love gives goodbyes
I'll be at my best.
When happiness dies,
I'll feel unstressed.
When life bring reprise,
I won't feel oppressed.
It's the plans you devise
Which gives me unrest.

Just add the 's' for "When life brings reprise"

And in stanza 6 line 2

So let's go to war
With jolly and glee.

I think 'jolly' is used kind of incorrectly here; the only time I've found it used as a noun is if you say 'jollies' rather than 'jolly' and I doubt that's the sense you want. I know replacing it with the correct noun form, 'joy', would wreck your internal rhythm, so you can try and replace it with another synonym, such as 'gladness'.

Hope this helps