Out of the labyrinth

[Keith]

Laughter trails behind us,
beating faster to the breast,
cliff tops drop beneath us,
sea breeze glides to rest.

A warning not to touch,
or slip on heated streams,
warming just too much,
inside a clouded dream.

I drowned crystal cerulean,
whitewashed days away,
heavy on the oceans bight,
a fallen feathered stray.

Tar stains on my back
cannot blemish me,
wax runs red to legs,
the sun has set me free.

It seems like everybody around here forgets to use capital letters at the start of each verse ... I have a problem with the fact you don't use binding words like the tar or the laughter... and where is the labyrinth ?


Laughter trails behind us, (who is laughing and why?)
beating faster to the breast,(who is beating and why? why breast and not chest?)
cliff tops drop beneath us,
sea breeze glides to rest.

A warning not to touch,
or slip on heated streams,("heated steams" stands for?)
warming just too much,
inside a clouded dream.( I like the expression "clouded dream" but I don't get what dream are we talking about)

I drowned crystal cerulean,("crystal cerulean" of what?)
whitewashed days away,
heavy on the oceans bight,
a fallen feathered stray.

Tar stains on my back(where is the tar coming from?)
cannot blemish me,
wax runs red to legs,
the sun has set me free.

This should be named "escape from hell"(tar,wax,red, warming too much, steam, cliffs drop) lol not labyrinth because labyrinth stands for conflictual thoughts, lack of orientation and it has nothing to do with sensations coming from the skin but everything with emotions.

Hi Codry thanks for your comments I will have a look. By way of an obviously needed explanation, Icarus escaped from a Labyrinth on Crete using wings his father had made from Tar Wax and Feathers. Hope this helps