Disposable
#21
(11-26-2013, 12:33 AM)ChristopherSea Wrote:  Todd/ellz/Chaz/Keith/trueE edit 5

Disposable

Excessive bills conveniently tossed
and winning Lotto tickets rashly lost
will amass with the news of heinous crimes
as our conscience blurs beneath garbage grime.

Pitched teary letters that were coffee stained;
their ink has run, but the harsh words remain.
Those trashed phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot;
her mislaid thong, the sole Forget-Me-Not.

Moths wrecked the bedspread that mom crocheted
for a wedding night that never took place;
dispatched like the milk carton’s missing child:
dead or help captive by a pedophile.

Disposed bandages of our unhealed wounds
transiently mask our life’s scarred festoon.
Pain is best thrown out than its story told
if hope can recycle while the ache’s withheld.


-------------------------------------
Todd/ellz/Chaz/Keith/trueE edit 4

without the last two lines?

Disposable

Bills that come due are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets carelessly lost,

and the crumpled news of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred beneath garbage grime.

Where’s the empty milk carton's missing child:
dead or held captive by some pedophile?

Misplaced phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot;
their mislaid thongs serve as Forget-Me-Nots.

Old tear-marked letters become coffee stained;
the ink may have run, but harsh words remain.

The moth-ruined linens that mom crocheted
for festive tables were never displayed.

Bloody bandages of our unhealed wounds
become life's reminders in scarred festoon.

-or-


Todd/ellz/Chaz/Keith/trueE edit 3

with the last two lines?

Disposable

Bills that come due are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets carelessly lost,

and the crumpled news of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred beneath garbage grime.

Where’s the empty milk carton's missing child:
dead or held captive by some pedophile?

Misplaced phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot;
their mislaid thongs serve as Forget-Me-Nots.

Old tear-marked letters become coffee stained;
the ink may have run, but harsh words remain.

The moth-ruined linens that mom crocheted
for festive tables were never displayed.

Bloody bandages of our unhealed wounds
become life's reminders in scarred festoon.

Some things best thrown out than their story told.
Hope recycles when the hard truth's withheld.

----------------------------------------
Todd/ellz edit 2

better with last two lines cut?

Disposable

Bills that come due are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets carelessly lost

and the crumpled news of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred beneath oven grime.

Where is that crushed milk carton's missing child:
dead or held captive by some pedophile?

Missing phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot,
with mislaid thongs as sole Forget-Me-Nots

Old tear-marked letters are now coffee stained
as the ink has run, but harsh words remain.

Moths ruined the linens that mom crocheted
for festive spreads that were never displayed.

Bloody bandages of our unhealed wounds
become life's reminders in scarred festoon.

-or-

Keep last two lines

Disposable

Bills that come due are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets carelessly lost

and the crumpled news of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred beneath oven grime.

Where is that crushed milk carton's missing child:
dead or held captive by some pedophile?

Missing phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot,
with mislaid thongs as sole Forget-Me-Nots.

Old tear-marked letters are now coffee stained
as the ink has run, but harsh words remain.

Moths ruined the linens that mom crocheted
for festive spreads that were never displayed.

Bloody bandages of our unhealed wounds
become life's reminders in scarred festoon.

Some things best thrown out than their story told.
Hope can recycle when the truth's withheld.

-----------------------------------------------

original

in couplets

Disposable

Bills that come due are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets carelessly lost

and the crumpled news of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred beneath oven grime.

Where is that crushed milk carton's missing child:
dead or held captive by some pedophile?

Missing phone numbers are the lovelorn's lot,
with mislaid thongs as sole Forget-Me-Nots.

Old tear-marked letters are now coffee stained
as the ink has run, but harsh words remain.

Moths ruined the linens that mom crocheted
for festive spreads that were never displayed.

Bloody bandages of our unhealed wounds
become life's reminders in scarred festoon.

Some things best thrown out than their story told.
Hope can recycle when the truth's withheld.

-or-

in quatrains

Disposable

Bills that come due
are conveniently tossed
with the Lotto tickets
carelessly lost

and the crumpled news
of heinous crimes
become conscience-blurred
beneath oven grime.

Where is that crushed
milk carton's missing child:
dead or held captive
by some pedophile?

Missing phone numbers
are the lovelorn's lot,
with mislaid thongs
as sole Forget-Me-Nots.

Old tear-marked letters
are now coffee stained
as the ink has run,
but harsh words remain.

Moths ruined the linens
that mom crocheted
for festive spreads
that were never displayed.

Bloody bandages
of our unhealed wounds
become life's reminders
in scarred festoon.

Some things best thrown
out than their story told.
Hope can recycle
when the truth's withheld.
So far is the best I've read on this site, keep it in the quatrains format but try to link them somehow something like "carelessly lost/ fortune of mine letters that describe/ crumpled news" And use capitals at the beginning of every word that starts the row.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Disposable - by ChristopherSea - 11-26-2013, 12:33 AM
RE: Disposable - by Todd - 11-26-2013, 01:09 AM
RE: Disposable - by ChristopherSea - 11-26-2013, 03:42 AM
RE: Disposable - by ellz483 - 11-27-2013, 12:41 AM
RE: Disposable - by ChristopherSea - 11-27-2013, 04:23 AM
RE: Disposable - by ChristopherSea - 11-29-2013, 01:29 AM
RE: Disposable - by Charlesjoseph - 11-29-2013, 02:56 AM
RE: Disposable - by ChristopherSea - 11-29-2013, 08:57 AM
RE: Disposable - by Todd - 11-29-2013, 03:19 AM
RE: Disposable - by Keith - 11-29-2013, 10:06 AM
RE: Disposable - by ChristopherSea - 11-29-2013, 11:38 PM
RE: Disposable - by Keith - 11-30-2013, 02:56 AM
RE: Disposable - by ChristopherSea - 11-30-2013, 06:30 AM
RE: Disposable (edit 3 & 4) - by ChristopherSea - 11-30-2013, 09:15 AM
RE: Disposable (edit 3 & 4) - by trueenigma - 11-30-2013, 04:21 PM
RE: Disposable (edit 3 & 4) - by ChristopherSea - 11-30-2013, 10:06 PM
RE: Disposable (edit 3 & 4) - by trueenigma - 12-01-2013, 01:14 AM
RE: Disposable (edit 3 & 4) - by ChristopherSea - 12-01-2013, 02:04 AM
RE: Disposable (edit5) - by ChristopherSea - 01-14-2014, 09:43 PM
RE: Disposable (edit5) - by Codry - 01-16-2014, 03:36 AM
RE: Disposable (edit5) - by ChristopherSea - 01-16-2014, 06:00 AM
RE: Disposable (edit5) - by YouAreMe - 01-16-2014, 11:35 AM
RE: Disposable (edit 5) - by Leanne - 01-17-2014, 05:04 AM
RE: Disposable (edit 5) - by ChristopherSea - 02-06-2014, 06:31 AM



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