01-08-2014, 01:28 AM
I'd like it a bit better if you didn't randomly change the rhyme scheme at the end.
"In the ground, beginning to mold" is pretty harsh, and gives the poem some real emotion and imagery.
"Past memories" seems kind of redundant.
"In the ground, beginning to mold" is pretty harsh, and gives the poem some real emotion and imagery.
"Past memories" seems kind of redundant.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!