tokens of war revised

[ellajam]

Hi, Heart, I enjoyed this, here are a few notes. As usual, the formatting only shows up in the reply box, so that's not how I've been reading it.

In the chill of winter
I shed my fragile skin maybe a comma here
dry as late autumn leaves
it slides like a reptile against strong image
a stone.
Devoted soldier,
I soothe my limbs in the
salty sea;
Weeping for receding bruises, I like the regret of losing outward scars.
tokens of my battle.
On the shore a man
searches for colors of I don't really get the switch to "colors of the world"' maybe if the bruises were colors I could tie it in.
the world and motions
me to see shades of peony
and russet at the horizon russet works, but is not up to the lovely peony
I cast my eyes toward the sunset,
submissive as the sea. I don't see the sea as submissive, but that just may be me.

Thanks for the read.