01-06-2014, 08:12 AM
Hey there Heart, nice to read you again!
As Tec said this is quite wistful and melancholy, and has a lovely feel to it. But I did have the same problem as he, not finding the central theme/idea. Each bit is nice on its own, but I can't see what ties them together. Maybe if I knew more about who the speaker is that'd help, I'm not sure. I get the feeling that it's a battered woman, but then that doesn't fit exactly. It really reads nicely, and we get lost in the scenes, but being a little more explicit may help the reader follow the train of thought better. Thanks for sharing.
-justcloudy
As Tec said this is quite wistful and melancholy, and has a lovely feel to it. But I did have the same problem as he, not finding the central theme/idea. Each bit is nice on its own, but I can't see what ties them together. Maybe if I knew more about who the speaker is that'd help, I'm not sure. I get the feeling that it's a battered woman, but then that doesn't fit exactly. It really reads nicely, and we get lost in the scenes, but being a little more explicit may help the reader follow the train of thought better. Thanks for sharing.
-justcloudy
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The howling beast is back.
The howling beast is back.