Hope Behind the Wheel

Hope Behind the Wheel

Todd Offline

Empty Suit

Posts: 2,359
Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

01-05-2014, 10:41 AM

I like the edit quite a bit. My one initial call out is Reluctant in L2 "forced" already conveys the idea so reluctant comes off as filler.

You have a much better opening, and I think the poem holds together better.

Best,

Todd

The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson

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Messages In This Thread

Hope Behind the Wheel - by tigrflye - 12-31-2013, 07:30 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by trueenigma - 12-31-2013, 09:38 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by tigrflye - 12-31-2013, 11:09 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by Todd - 12-31-2013, 11:04 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by saleel - 12-31-2013, 05:36 PM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by tigrflye - 01-05-2014, 08:11 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by trueenigma - 01-05-2014, 09:14 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by Todd - 01-05-2014, 10:41 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by billy - 01-05-2014, 11:14 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by tigrflye - 01-06-2014, 01:15 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by trueenigma - 01-06-2014, 04:01 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by tigrflye - 01-06-2014, 10:02 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by justcloudy - 01-06-2014, 08:54 AM

RE: Hope Behind the Wheel - by gernseeker - 07-13-2014, 12:36 AM

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