Her Thraldom

[Todd]

Hello Acasia, welcome to the site! Here are some comments for you (both inline and overall):

It’s so easy to hear her cries bellowing from the sheets--would beneath be better than from?
Her Footsteps Echo through the halls--The capitalization doesn't seem to add much for me
Her mouth contains words her lips will never speak
Her heart only feels verbs--This is an interesting line.

My first impression of S1 is that you use her a lot. It would be better if you could find a way to remove some of the pronouns. The content would improve if the repetitiveness were removed (in my opinion). I also wonder if your title is helping you much. If the title for instance was "Her" or some variation that would allow you to mix up the structure a bit. Just a thought.

Her posture regal
Capitalist
Catapulting cynic concepts via lucid lies
Crashing comber of metaphors--I like comber and this feels like your strongest line of S2. I wonder since you go with "Like" below if similes might be a better choice.

Like

Leaning Towers of a distraught mind--distraught is more tell than show and hurts the image.
And--outside of like which is a good one word transition "And" cannot hold the line
Her meteors showering saline cries
Her conjuring soul seeping through holes a normal person wouldn’t find--Condense here

If you told her you loved her
She’d only wait for the next lie
This is a woman who’s done all, seen all
Who waits on an infinite line--I think this line is also interesting.

Waiting for reproof
A reassuring shrine
That she too will lead a generation through the tracks of the tears she cried

Tracks of the tears and done all, seen all are both a bit overused. I think you could do better.

I do think there is some good stuff here. I want to be careful not to impose a style on your poem, but I hope the comments will be helpful to reflect upon.

Best,

Todd