12-27-2013, 05:07 AM
(12-25-2013, 11:23 AM)alatos Wrote: I watch the little harbor disappear
and motor on to meet the midnight waves.
I turn to contemplate the black frontier:
how many lie, lured gladly to their graves?
The buoy’s light sings patiently to come the buoy's light reminds me of a siren - sings "seductively"? maybe something other than patiently
beyond the jetty’s shore of rocky caves.
I breathe and smell the empty breeze. Bay Rum
still lingers on my clothes, a faint yet strong
reminder of my bed, and sleep. The strum
of engine gears, the diesel’s drum, a song
of leaving home to join the endless seas. the "wandering" seas? the "ancient" seas? the "restless" seas?
Where else, on this wide earth, could I belong? I might leave out "wide"
What better friends, what stronger ties than these,
the nighttime swells, to put my soul at ease? swells, "my wandering soul to ease"? swells, "to place my soul at ease"?
I am a big fan of this - I like the lilting meter and the love of the sea that is conveyed. I'm not keen on "faint yet strong", but I know what you mean and I can't think of a suggestion. These are just thoughts, best.

