When I'm Comatose

[tigrflye]

Cidermaid - thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave your thoughts.
I wondered if the marionette image was too much or out of place but I liked idea of having control by tugging the strings. I will think on it and see if I can replace the line with something better. I cant bring myself to cut it as I want some type of rhyme with "within"
thanks for your help!
ps- hope you had a good bday!
-Jenn

Hi jenn, sorry did not pick up the image of a marionette from my first read. Now you have mentioned it I can see it is a nice image and would fit in very nicely. Perhaps you need to add another word to put the readerer onto this line of thought. (perhaps something along the lines of limb strings ?)

AJ.

So far, I have entertained these ideas:

to tug your strings at whim - original
to tug limb strings at whim
to tug your will at whim
to tug doll strings at whim
to wield control at whim

And now my brain feels mushy so I'm going to let it rest. Opinion?