When I'm Comatose

[cidermaid]

Hi tigr,
I like the shorn n sweet simplicity of this one.
Not much comment except the one line

In dreams, I made you high
on me. A dizzy cloud
infused your eyes, and I
was powerful and proud
to tug your strings at whim. I don't think the poem would loose anything if you cut this whole line. It feel a little cliched and for my read does not add to the image...in fact it actually is distracting, because i am then thinking what those strings might be, where as the rest of the poem reads as a fast n straight ball of sexual empowerment and desire.
With philter full, I forgot
the rules and lit within
your loins a passion hot,
unchecked with no apologies.
I ravaged you with teeth
and tenderness so thoroughly,
I slept away the week. Love your conclusion - replete with love image