Entropy

[crow]

Yes, but "do better on your own" runs counter to the presumption underlying a forum like this. Without a specified crit, I'm left in the position of a self-critical poet self-editing, but worse off because my natural self-doubts are affirmed. It's fine to shrug and say, I wasn't trying to do more than suggest that your work isn't great, but anybody can do that. I'm asking for suggestions that amount to more than, "I didn't like the first draft, and I really don't like the second."

I'm also not trying to force you to respond point-by-point to a point-by-point response to your critique. I spent some long hours rewriting to your edit. If you don't like the revision, cool, but . . . Now what?